And learning what works for your family.

At the beginning of this year I made a change. One that I honestly didn’t anticipate changing my life as much as it has.

What I did was STOP the constant cleaning. I’m not sure if you do this constant busy thing too. Sitting down to rest was very hard for me. I would look around my house and see all the things that NEEDED to be done.

It was hard for me to relax and watch a movie, or read a book. I’d somehow feel guilty that I should be doing something. Like I needed to be productive.

I’d finally sit down to relax when I was completely spent and had nothing left in me to give. And as a result, most times when I sat down to watch a movie or read, I’d fall asleep.

If you do this, I want to shout from the rooftops to you that it doesn’t have to be this way.

I made some simple changes, that go against what other moms give as advice. But the one SUREST thing I am of now is that everyone is different and all our families and situations are different. And, what works for one family, won’t work for all.

With all that being said, I think there are some moms that are stuck where I was, thinking that I had to keep up with my home and chores, and I’ve learned that in fact, I do not.

Here are the three simple changes I made—

1. Let the dishes go. I don’t criticize myself if I don’t have a clean sink when I go to bed. I load one time per day and we all rinse as we go, and that’s it. And honestly, there are nights I do not do my dishes. Life is happening and sometimes I just don’t make time for the dishes.
2. Stop picking up, constantly. I used to follow around after my kids as they played, tidying as they go. Now I spend a few minutes in the morning, and at night tidying. We sing the “cleanup” song, and my kids help. It’s a beautiful thing.
3. Let go of the expectations of a perfect home. I have two beautiful children, a loving husband, and a pup and kitty all in our little home. We live a lot of life here, and we love our home. I realized that I was always looking around my house in judgement. Thinking if only it was cleaner or nicer. Now when I look around I see my family loving each other in our lived-in home.

Here’s what I noticed with making these changes.

1. I spend less time cleaning this way. Most advice I had heard was to keep up with your chores so they don’t get out of control. But instead I was just constantly cleaning. Like… All. The. Time. It was draining. Now I spend less time cleaning. I think of it this way. I’m focused on one chore when I do it now, and it gets done. That simple. Instead of doing the chore 10 times in a day in short spurts, I do it once. And my house isn’t messier now than it was before.
2. I have a lot more time now. I have such freedom. I was honestly, in a way, a captive to the chores. They were constantly calling my name and I was feeling like I wasn’t a good enough mom and wife because I couldn’t keep up with the demands. Now, I sit with my husband and watch a whole show without getting up to pick up the room. I sit with God reading the word and in prayer. I have time to write blog posts and share my life with you all. I read my kids dozens of books every night. I am living in my home, and it’s a beautiful thing.
3. My family has an opportunity to help. Since I am not constantly living in a home that is buttoned up, my husband jumps in and helps and my kids do too. My husband and kids always helped, but before it was when I asked, and I was always making people feel bad, because I was basically asking them to jump when I wanted it done. It was pushed and ugly, and nobody liked it. Now, instead, we are a team. My husband will jump in and make dinner, or tackle the dishes. My daughter has enjoyed putting here books away and making her bed. It’s almost like I had standards on cleaning that were too high. And I am learning that it didn’t make anyone feel good.

Are you and your family being held captive by unrealistic and unnecessary expectations? Maybe you have ridged cleaning schedules that don’t really work for you. Or maybe it’s something else that’s needing to change. I encourage you to try different things out. Find out what works for you and your family. It’s freeing. And, you might just find you have more time for the really beautiful things in life.

XO,
Kyra